Shaken Read online

  Chapter Three

  “Hello?”

  The disembodied male voice startled Julia out of Grant’s kiss. He felt her gasp at the same time the heels of her hands pushed at his shoulders. He couldn’t quite let her go, his hands settling on her hips, but he gave her the room she asked for.

  “Hello? The cameras are inoperable, is anyone hurt in there?”

  “Hello!” she called out, still sounding breathless, her hand hurriedly brushing her long bangs out of her face. They must have slipped free from her pins in the fall, a tempting reminder of the woman beneath the facade. She scrambled to stand, heading for the panel where all the buttons were. Grant let her go and rubbed the back of his head where he’d banged it against the floor. No bleeding, no swelling, nothing to be concerned about. She’d landed on him, meaning the brunt had probably been taken on her knees. A cursory glance didn’t reveal any damage. He studied a little harder, visually tracing the shape of her calves, the line of her thigh all the way up to the full curve of her ass. As if he’d tear his eyes away from that.

  “Hello,” she said again, having found the emergency intercom button, bending down to speak directly into it. Good thing she wasn’t looking at him, she wouldn’t appreciate his pleased smile. “We’re here. No one’s hurt, just a little scuffed up. Will you be able to restart the elevator soon?”

  “Normally, yes, but our system is unresponsive. The quake seems to have triggered some kind of lockdown.”

  Grant straightened, his attention on the intercom completely now.

  “You have lights and air and if no one is hurt, then I’m afraid it could be some time before we can get you out of there. I’m sorry, but emergency services are going to be tied up with life-threatening rescues. Our techs are on their way, you just hold tight and hit the intercom if your situation changes, okay?”

  Whoever the guy was, he didn’t wait for a response. Julia, however, stared at the panel hopelessly.

  When she didn’t move for a solid minute, Grant sighed. “Might as well come sit back down. We’re not going anywhere for a while.” A fact that had to be the first break he’d had in a year. Time with her. Possibly hours. Time to reason with her. Talk her out of this ridiculous move, this ridiculous divorce. She didn’t need to leave to play professionally. She didn’t have to leave, period. They still loved each other. They could get through this. They just needed time, and for some reason Grant wasn’t about to question, God had finally seen his way to giving them some.

  He watched her lithe form rise to her full height, his eyes drifting from her face to her neck, her breasts, her legs all the way to her toes. The first step was reminding her of what they were to each other. Perfect halves of one another.

  He couldn’t tell for sure in the not-quite white light, but he rather thought he saw a soft flush rising over the rounded edge of her jaw. She turned her face to him and he knew for sure it was there. Could tell by the narrowing of her eyes that she knew precisely what he was thinking. How easy it would be to slide that coat off her shoulders, pull that satiny bowtie at the side of her neck free and pluck the pearled buttons open, one by one, to find the creamy skin beneath. What he wanted to do to all that creamy skin…

  He stood, already shrugging off his coat.

  She watched, not even shaking her head. Just biting her lip. In anticipation? Only one way to find out.

  Julia leaned against the wall of the elevator car, watching her husband come ever closer, each step a slow, stalking movement. She could still taste him on her lips, knew what he planned to do if she let him close enough. The question was whether or not she wanted to.

  No, that wasn’t even a question.

  Whether she should.

  Her body shook, not in fear—she could never be afraid of Grant—but with need. That kiss ignited too many feelings, awakening something in her that had been blessedly numb since she’d left their home. Desire.

  He stood almost over her now, their bodies nearly touching. His warmth called to her, his breath. If she wanted him, all she had to do was reach out and touch. Undo the buttons on that gray shirt, find the muscled flesh beneath. Then she’d be able to press her face to his skin, taste it with wet, sucking kisses that made him groan deep in his chest. Her fingers itched, ready to seek out the muscled ripples along his ribs.

  She tightened them on the metal handrail instead.

  This was why she’d left. Because Grant turned every quiet moment, every opportunity to talk, into sex. He disappeared from her emotionally, verbally, physically in every way except for the moments he was stripping her. Pleasuring her. Filling her until she screamed from the raw pleasure of it. And then he’d always leave her afterward. Leave her more alone with each experience, until she felt as if there were nothing left of her. She couldn’t face it again.

  “This is hardly the place for what you’re thinking,” she said, but the argument lacked the strength she knew it needed.

  “This is the only place we have left, don’t you think?” His fingertip touched her jaw, soft as a feather, tilting her face up to his. “Haven’t you missed this, Julia?”

  So much her body, her soul, ached day and night.

  His lips grazed hers. “I feel like I’m breathing again for the first time in months.” Firmer pressure…or had she lifted onto her toes to press closer? She wasn’t sure. “Like my heart’s beating again, just touching you.”

  Hers, too. Beating so fast it felt like a flutter.

  His fingers left her jaw, the backs of them trailing down her neck to the collar of her blouse, which felt like it was strangling her. He tugged on the tie, gently. Asking permission. God, how she wanted to give it to him.

  She stared up, his face so close to hers, but his gaze was on the tie at her neck. His black lashes spread like thick fans just above his stark cheekbones. So haggard, so…lost. She lifted her hand to his cheek, his heavy stubble tickling her palm. If she gave in, though, he’d be gone in a heartbeat…

  It hit her then. Gone where? They were trapped. He couldn’t walk away this time. Couldn’t leave her behind. Couldn’t hide from her questions. Her love.

  Against all her better judgment, hope flared in her heart.

  “Let me touch you, Jules,” he whispered roughly, lowering his mouth to the corner of hers. Slowly he made his way down her body, touching but not taking. Almost as if he couldn’t help himself. Until he knelt before her, hands on her thighs, waiting. Watching her. “Let me make it better.”

  God, did she have the strength? Could she take one more risk, after everything she’d already lost? Her daughter, her marriage… Could she bear it if she tried to reach for her husband and everything she feared about their relationship was true?

  Could she bear it if she was wrong and never took the opportunity to find out for sure?

  Closing her eyes, she finally let go of the rail. She reached blindly for his hands, guiding them to the hem of her skirt…and underneath. Her breath slipped out in a rush when he began lifting the fabric, sliding the skirt higher and higher up her thighs.

  Her breath disappeared altogether when she felt the first hot lick of his tongue.

  Chapter Four

  Julia bit her lip, her legs trembling as Grant’s firm mouth grazed down her thigh and back up again, licking the fold where it joined her body one more time. His tongue slipped just under the edge of her panties, teasing. He never stopped the slow rise and fall of his hands over her thighs, gently widening her stance for him, cupping her knees until her hips canted subtly closer to his roving mouth.

  “I missed the taste of you,” he rumbled against her belly, his fingertips caressing the fabric edge he’d been toying with a second before. Traced it…slipped beneath it, his knuckle glancing the already slick outer lips of her sex. She jerked, her body hyperaware of the slightest touch. No doubt hearing her gasp, he looked up, those molten gray eyes of his glowing up at her with searing passion. Need. A grim smile spread his lips, nearly the one she recognized from years as h
is lover but touched with the darkness he made no pains to hide. Or maybe he just couldn’t anymore. What was important in that second was the wickedness glinting there with it. His knuckles rolled back against her folds, nudging her swelling clit with careful, brain-numbing swipes.

  “You haven’t really tasted me yet.”

  His smile lost some of that darkness, the wicked growing brighter by the second. “I haven’t, have I?” His fingers tightened on the gusset of her uninspiring white panties, pulling the garment down her thighs and baring her to his hungry gaze. Only when he’d dragged them nearly to her knees did he let go, slowly bringing his hand to his mouth. His gaze never left hers as he licked her moisture from it, like a cat would at sweet cream.

  She shuddered, remembering the sensation of that stroke. Wanting it, almost able to feel it scoop through the folds of her slit. He used to love telling her how much he enjoyed fucking her with his mouth. That her flavor alone could almost make him come. That she got sweeter with each swipe and suckling. “As good as you remember?”

  “Better.” His voice was little more than a growl now. “But one taste isn’t nearly enough.” He tugged again on her panties, pulling them down her calves insistently. “I want.” He leaned in to lick once over her sex. “Every.” Another lick, this one accompanied by her heeled foot being freed of the underwear. “Last.” He sucked this time, a fast draw over her clit as he pulled her free leg up over his shoulder. “Drop.”

  She barely heard the last word over her own cry of pleasure. His hand cupped her bottom, tilting her pussy toward his mouth as he speared his tongue into her. Julia’s head fell back against the elevator wall, her eyes squeezing shut against the maelstrom of passion washing through her. So good. Intense. His tongue drove deep through her, licking at the walls that were clamping down around it. She whimpered when he pulled out, only to gasp as he lapped through the folds again. Her clit throbbed for him, straining to be kissed. Sucked.

  He didn’t disappoint. The heat of his mouth enveloped it, drawing gently at first, then harder. Deeper. Need began to pool in her belly, her muscles quaking badly now. So…close…

  “Hold on to the rail,” he ordered, only moving far enough from her to be heard. “Both hands, now.”

  Oh God. She didn’t even know where her own hands were, but as he lifted her, already grasping the thigh of the leg she held herself up on, she found them and held on as he ordered. Just in the nick of time, because he slung her other leg over his shoulder, cupped her bottom in both hands and took on all of her weight. Then he dove back in, his thumbs parting her flesh as he devoured her. Giving all of herself over to him, Julia let her legs fall slack and tumbled headlong into ecstasy.

  He ate at her, every strong glide of his tongue, flicking strum and drawing kiss taking her further and further from reality. There was only Grant, touching her, loving her. His teeth gently clamped around her clit. He sucked at her, and the entire world simply disappeared in a wild burst of pleasure.

  But it still wasn’t enough.

  She was empty.

  Alone.

  “Grant!”

  “I know, honey.” The urgency in him wasn’t lost to her. Already he had shrugged one of her legs down, the clinks of his belt matching the motions of his shoulders beneath her. Suddenly, she was sliding upward, her eyes flying open as he thrust into her, pinning her to the wall just above the rail. He kept her other leg folded over the crook of his elbow, opening her wide with another heavy thrust. Her vision clouded, every nerve ending in her body responding to his possession. Full, so full of him, she could only moan. He lifted her again, gripping her free thigh almost painfully, guiding her to wrap it around his hips. She did and he rewarded her with another breath-stealing thrust.

  Her hands found purchase on his shoulders and their gazes locked. Everything locked. Neither of them moved but for their panting breaths. His need was raw in his eyes. More than sex. He needed her. To touch him back. To give as much as he was giving to her. To make this more than an act of desperation; two bodies meeting while their hearts took different paths.

  As if he had no idea that her heart beat in his chest.

  In that instant, she knew she had been right to take this chance. He’d forgotten. This moment, this heartbeat, was all the time she’d have to remind him.

  Julia leaned forward, her body strung tight against his, and pressed her lips to his. A nearly broken sound escaped him as he latched on to her kiss, taking it—taking her—and beginning to move with a fury she could barely withstand. He pounded into her, every thrust tormenting her straining clit until he might as well have been strumming it again. Her muscles clamped on him in desperation, the growing orgasm filling her body from her fingertips inward. Tighter and tighter she coiled around him, her mouth leaving his to cry out over and over. His hold became crushing, his thrusts wild. A desperate scream tore through the air as they both lost control, as she lost connection to anything but him…and drowned in pleasure.

  Slowly, languorously, she came back to the surface, took a breath. She tried to, but to her surprise, she realized she was crying, tears streaming down her face, air coming to her lungs in soft hitches.

  Grant pressed his face into the side of her neck, spreading soft, soothing kisses up the column. For a second, she was transported all the way back to when they’d first become lovers. The intensity between them in the beginning had frightened her, made her cry and shake, no matter how she tried to hold it in. Making love to Grant had always involved everything she had—heart, body and soul. It hadn’t been a choice to give him so much of herself. He’d known it, gentling her until she understood she could trust him with such naked vulnerability. Loving him had simply been a part of her. Leaving had nearly killed her.

  Because each one of those kisses was a promise. A promise to hold her. To support her. To be there when the passion faded. To never break her heart.

  “Grant?” Her voice was still husky, her body still quaking around him.

  “Mmmm?” His hands smoothed over her bottom, petting her, taking the sting from the imprint of his fingertips. Already, she could feel her response building again. Her body was putty for him. Her heart belonged to him. But her mind, her will, they were all she had to fight with. The only way she could stand up for herself. For them.

  “Grant.” She swallowed, willing strength into her voice as she wiped her cheeks with the back of her sleeve. “You have to let me go.”

  His hand froze on her leg.

  “Grant?”

  “No.”

  Just that. No other words. No other movement.

  “Grant.”

  He lifted his head. The flush across his cheeks could have been the flush of passion still staining him, but Julia knew better. It was anger.

  “No. I’m not letting you go ever again.”

  Chapter Five

  If he had to stay inside her for the rest of his life, he would keep that vow. She couldn’t do this. Give him this glimpse of heaven, of blessed peace, then throw him back into hell. She couldn’t.

  Her blue gaze remained firm, even if her pink lips were soft and still wet. “I’m not escaping, Grant.” The unspoken and neither are you echoed loud and clear. “We have to talk.”

  “We are talking.” He leaned in to take her mouth while he spoke. Her lips slipped across his, sleek and smooth. Slick. He licked the top one, hoping to tease her. Her hands tightened on his shoulders and for a moment, she began to melt again. Then suddenly, she stiffened. She pushed, her head rearing back, stealing her kiss away.

  “No. I don’t want this.”

  He stared at her for any sign of indecision, but her mouth was firm, her gaze resolved. She didn’t want this…or she didn’t want him? “Why? Why now and not ten minutes ago?”

  “Because letting you fuck me doesn’t mean anything has changed.”

  The hard words did what nothing else could have. He pulled from her, his cock leaving her sex almost roughly. She flinched, something that stab
bed him more than his own discomfort, but said nothing as he put her back on her feet. Once sure she was steady, he made quick work of adjusting his own clothing. She wiped at her face with her sleeve, taking away the tears he’d sipped at. Grant backed to the other side of the elevator, watching her sniff while she tried to tuck her hair into some semblance of order with one hand and tug at her skirt with the other. She turned to face the wall, the tangled white gold of her hair streaming down her back. Rebuilding her walls again. Shutting him out.

  “You wanted to talk.” His voice sounded like a bark and her shoulders jumped at the sound of it. He swallowed the bitterness that caused and lowered his voice. “How about we start with why you don’t want my support?”

  “I never said I didn’t want your support. I said I don’t want your money.”

  “That’s the same thing.”

  “No, it’s not.” She looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes red rimmed. Accusing. “I haven’t had your support since that night.” She didn’t have to say which night she meant.

  And she couldn’t be more wrong.

  “I’ve done nothing but be here for you and you know it. You’re the one who walked out.”

  “Was I, Grant? Really?” She turned fully now. “Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you’ve been there for me?”

  “Yes.”

  “That you hurt with me?”

  Grant ground his teeth together. Did she need to dig into him with shards of glass to get her point across? “Yes.”

  “That you cried with me? Mourned with me? Shared any of your pain?”

  No. He’d never done that. He clamped his lips, staring down at the woman who was supposed to understand. So why didn’t she?